The Decision is In

Well, the decision is in. It happened just like I was told it would. Being faced with the daunting decision of whether or not to remove not only one part of my anatomy, but an additional and equally important part as well. Honestly, I hadn’t been toiling over the decision as much as a person might that found themselves in this position. I mean, I thought about it on and off, but there are always so many other things happening in my life, that my focus ends up in many different places, almost simultaneously. I guess that could be a good thing, because it doesn’t allow me to dwell on any one thing. Instead, I flit around from one issue to the next, sharing little pieces of my attention respectively, much like a bee that buzzes around from flower to flower. After all, there are so many choices. I wonder how the bees decide where to begin.

On the morning of my follow up appointment with my surgeon, I woke up and I knew immediately what I was going to do. There wasn’t any fuss or muss and I saw things with a clarity that isn’t always a part of my decision-making process and for that, I am very thankful. As I lay there calmly, looking around my bedroom, the decision floated into view as vividly as the clouds in once blue skies, that signal the impending rain that is sure to follow.

Okay, so that part is done and I am content with my decision. Well, as content as anyone in this predicament could be. However, the hardest part is still to come. Yes, I have come to a decision concerning breast cancer surgery but along with this knowledge comes the fact that I will be minus two parts of my anatomy that I have lived with my entire life. My breasts have always been a special part of my body and I’ve always valued and revered their beauty, their purpose. I can’t help but wonder what a woman does when she has this mastectomy surgery that removes her entire breast(s)? How does she feel about herself when she looks in the mirror? Does she worry about how her husband/mate, family and friends will view her post-surgery? I am now that woman with all these questions.

I’ve had my share of surgeries in my life time but this one will be the most intricately personal one by far. A woman’s breasts can instill a whole lot of pride or they cause her to bear the brunt of much shame, when faced with their surgical removal. However, I will remain alive and well as a result of this decision. Beauty may be only skin-deep, but this experience will no doubt make me a more beautiful person from within. That is what matters most, right? I’d say, the decision is in!

By Sylvia Porter-Hall

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. D'aller Naturel
    Apr 23, 2015 @ 19:11:56

    oh my goodness, I’ve been gone for too long! Is this the life thing you were dealing with????!!! I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. I’m glad that the decision doesn’t cause you any consternation, but I am still sorry you have to go through it. Stay strong and I will keep you in my prayers!

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    • sporterhall
      May 30, 2015 @ 16:30:56

      My apologies for seeing this so late my friend. It’s been so hard to stay on track which puts me behind the eight ball in responding. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and for being patient with me. Evidently, God is not through with me yet! Thankfully! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  2. Deb
    May 31, 2015 @ 02:24:25

    You know. That you can call me and I can answer any questions you may have

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    • sporterhall
      Jul 26, 2015 @ 20:14:37

      Hey! I had no idea that you knew of my situation when I reached out to you recently. I thought I was telling you news but evidently you caught 1 of my blog posts about my experience. We could both benefit from the one another’s experiences. With that being said, know that you can call me also. People experience things very differently throughout the course of their lives, which provide a very rich wealth of knowledge and information. There’s so much to be gained as a result of shared journeys. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

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