Still…I Write

Writing is truly a gift that I have been blessed with. I say that because sometimes I am amazed at the onslaught of words that come to me. Sometimes, in such abundance, that it’s overwhelming. I can only conclude that these colorful expressions must come from God above.

From as far back as I can remember, I have loved everything about writing. As a young girl, I would take a book and copy the pages, word for word, just because I loved to ‘write’ and the whole writing process. A pen and paper – two best friends; like peanut butter and jelly. They just go together and one without the other simply doesn’t work. I enjoyed the way a pen and pencil felt between my fingers and the magic I could create with these instruments.

I learned early on the value of words and all the different meanings one can express through their creative and intellectual usage. Little did I know at the time, that I had a whole lot of things to express from within, some from pure imagination, while other thoughts were to be born out of sheer life experience. 

I will admit that there are some days where as much as I like to write, I simply don’t always feel up to it and  often feel guilty as a result. It seems I can’t squeeze out one consonant, vowel, syllable, fragment, phrase, sentence,etc. It seems impossible to make even one participial phrase dangle or one subject and verb come to an agreement. I often wonder why if I enjoy ‘writing’ so much, are there times when I don’t have any interest in putting my pen to paper or my fingers to my laptop keyboard? Sometimes, it feels like not a single creative thought is anywhere in sight. So, I often look back at things that I’ve written previously and try to take my mind back to where it was when I wrote those pieces. It’s almost like an out-of-body experience because on the days when creativity seems to escape me, I wonder how and if I can find it again!

So what do I do in these instances? I muddle through and write anyway; even in the midst of a seemingly blank canvass. I release that first drop of ink, that first keystroke onto the fresh white space that is just waiting for me to fill it with substance.  Even when my heart doesn’t seem to be in it….still, I write. When the ‘word well’ seems to have run dry…still, I write. When creativity and imagination seem to have taken an unexpected vacation…still, I write. Pen and paper come together again to form the bond that can only be created by their melodious union…kind of like that peanut butter and jelly that forms a perfect partnership! What’s your take?

By Sylvia Porter-Hall

Image: Free google images

 

Advertisements

In-toxi-cation…

 

Everyone knows or should know that there are more ways than one to become intoxicated. Fresh air can be stress-relieving and wonderfully intoxicating. Then you have the obvious toxins that come from air pollution, chemicals emitted into the air from companies, vehicle emissions, alcohol consumption, some medications, etc. We breath in toxins every day and there’s not much we can do about it. Surely, no one wants to stay in the house day after day, in order to avoid breathing them in. For most of us, this isn’t even an option. But aside from the obvious toxins that we know of and take in daily, where else would you think we are exposed to toxins?

I was hesitant to believe it until I found out firsthand for myself. Some of the most debilitating in-toxi-cation can come from other people. Yes…our fellow acquaintances, friends, strangers, passersby, etc. The thing that drove this point home so hard for me was when these unforseen toxins began to affect my health in very negative ways. You see, when you continue to expose yourself to others who are very ‘toxic’, it begins to have adverse affects on you as a person. You become in-toxic-ated without even realizing it. The problem is that we don’t usually become aware of it until the toxins have really gotten under our skin and into our essence.

It’s bad enough to have one in-toxi-cated person in your life, wreaking mental and emotional havoc. But when you have a handful of these individuals in your circle, the results can be life-changing. These people bring all of their baggage and emotional luggage to your life and promptly set it down, to take up residence. Surely, had you seen the heavy load he/she was carrying, you would have ran for your life! I can recall having several toxic people and situations in my life over a period of time. But again, if you aren’t aware of toxicity and the issues that come with it, then you continue on with these people, never realizing the negative affects their ‘toxicity’ sets into motion until something bad happens. You’re basically a sitting duck, unknowingly waiting for the bottom to fall out. And what a ‘fallout’ that can be!

I realize it probably wouldn’t be fair to blame adverse health issues on any one of these individuals, but I do believe that each and every one of them helped to plant the seeds that set this toxic roller-coaster in motion. It seemed as though where one person planted a seed and moved on, another picked up where that one left off and so on and so on. These toxic seeds were cultivated over and over again until eventually, their poisonous crop came to fruition.

I’m not just talking about intimate relationships. So-called friendships, workplace relationships, family, etc. The toxicity came in all sizes and forms. I had to learn the hard way. My body presented signs, plenty of them, but there was always a self-diagnosis to explain them away.  As a result of my own personal experience, I can strongly urge that we listen to our inner voice and our bodies when things aren’t as they should be. Perhaps a harder look can be taken as to who we allow in our personal space and what affects, if any, we notice after we’ve been exposed to them. You might be surprised to find that you can become in-toxi-cated without ever taking a drink!

By Sylvia Porter-Hall

 

Going Harder to Go Longer

 

  

I’ve been noticing something lately; something that’s very disappointing to realize. You may agree. It really hit home for me today. As I attended my physical therapy session, I noticed so many more ‘mature’ people in the facility, who were trying to work on whatever body part was ailing them. This isn’t the first time I witnessed this, but for some reason today, it stood out to me like a sore thumb.

I observed one man who was walking laps around the track, but was carrying an oxygen tank with him which was attached to clear tubing that ran up to his nose. I saw another person, a woman, who walked so slowly, I didn’t see how she would ever get to her destination. The therapist assigned to her had to dramatically slow his pace just so that this poor woman would not be left in his ‘youthful’ dust. I couldn’t imagine what exercise he would possibly recommend for her. Another man had so much pain, that the exercise he was performing on a machine, had to be interrupted several times as he grimaced in discomfort. He walked with a distinct limp and even that looked painful. My heart went out to these people. I don’t know what their individual circumstances were for being there, but they all seemed to be there for a common cause; to try and get better and to be better.

Some could have been there because they just wanted to have more mobility and get around better. Others could have been there because they need to keep working, even though they have reached their respective ‘retirement’ age(s), but sadly, that means little to nothing in many instances. It was beyond sobering to really pay attention to what I was seeing around me. It’s so easy to get caught up in the run-of-the mill day to day activities while seeing things, but proceeding on, never really stopping to pay attention to what is really going on. Some realities are truly shameful; which leads me to the reason for this post.

I guess I’m disheartened, disappointed, and downright disgusted at the way the elderly seem to  have been demoted to the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to the way they are treated. They’ve worked most of their lives or a great deal of their lives, helping to build this country and this is what things have come to; working well beyond the retirement age. As a matter of fact, what is the retirement age now? The age requirement seems to keep getting bumped further and further out, forcing many to ‘go harder to go longer’. Is ‘retirement’ even something to revere and look forward to in today’s world?

The nation’s economy has become so dismal that working at one place for several years and retiring from that place, has almost become a non-existent occurrence. A person can have several jobs throughout his/her working life. The high degree of job loss compounded with the difficulty in finding new employment, has made anticipation of retirement almost seem like a thing of the past. If you can’t keep a job due to high turnover and company layoffs, and you can’t find another job, how are you ever supposed to rebuild in order to have something to put aside in lieu of any kind of decent retirement? Can retirement ever again be a coveted event, as it once was, that can be revered and looked forward to with anticipation in the midst of these chaotic economic times?

What about the elderly people who find themselves laid off after having been employed with a company for years and years, only to then experience a lengthy period of time before they are able to secure employment? Then there’s the whole issue of ‘age’ discrimination that this sector of the population has to deal with.  Unfortunately, as a result of these circumstances, people sometimes have to tap into their retirement savings, take out 401k loans, etc. to help them get through those dark periods of unemployment. Then, once they find employment, the pay is often insulting; much less than what they were making prior to their unemployed status. So, now you have a person that is used to making x amount of money, but now finds themselves in a situation where the pay is considerably less. How would that person ever be able to pay their bills, not to mention having enough money to sock away and/or rebuild?

It’s interesting how the price of everything has been going up, seemingly 10-fold. But where are the cost of living increases to help people keep up with those rising costs? On the flip side, when a person secures new employment at a considerably lower rate, why is there nothing in place to ensure that people are not forced to accept meager wages to support their former lifestyles and high cost of living expenses? The expenses don’t disappear and they certainly don’t get reduced in light of a person experiencing an unexpected hardship. As a result, more and more people are working 2 and 3 jobs to try and make ends meet. Sometimes, that’s still not enough! It seems the nation has created a situation that has forced its people into a rat race that can never be won, unless something is done to stop this vicious cycle.

It’s horrible to think that some of the elderly population is faced with working well beyond a reasonable retirement age. Working multiple jobs is not a viable option for many of these valuable contributors to community and society and frankly, it shouldn’t be. Why should this population of seasoned individuals have to even consider working more than one job? If they could retire at their designated age, further employment would not even be an issue, unless he/she just wanted to work to keep busy and occupied. And what will happen if health becomes an issue and a person finds themselves in a predicament where he/she can’t work at all? I can honestly say, on one hand, I wasn’t ecstatic to see all of these ‘mature’ individuals trying to get on top of their body’s functionality because I sensed that a lot of these instances were out of necessity; for sheer survival. But I was happy that they were at least there, trying to make the effort. At the end of the day, do they really have a choice?

 

By Sylvia Porter-Hall

 

How Do I Do It?

 

I posted a piece during the wee hours of the morning on June 17th 2014 called, “When Silence Isn’t Golden”. Believe it or not, I contemplated for quite a while on whether or not I should share this article. I wondered if it was a bit too much and I certainly didn’t want to offend anyone. After much thought and consideration, I decided to share it, and I’m glad I did.

A ‘Twitter’ friend of mine read my post and posed a few very interesting questions to me. Firstly, he asked why I didn’t mention anything about the struggles of the African American Woman as a single mother? My friend spoke of his disgust and anger at the prejudice that is so rampant and that seems to always boldly point in the direction of the African American woman; which led him to his next question. He wanted to know how I, an African American woman deals with all the negative push-back and resistance on a daily basis? In his words, “How do you do it, Sylvia?”He pointed out the double whammy situation that I’m in; not just being a woman, but an African American woman. Thirdly, he wanted to know why the many defining characteristics African American women share collectively, are not highlighted in a more positive light?

As I read all the great points he brought up, I could only shake my head. I wish I had all the answers but I don’t. I would be happy to have even 1 answer. Thanks to my friend’s prompting questions, I am now going to attempt to respond to all of them as best I can, though I can and will only speak for myself. So, please bear with me as I try to paint a picture that will hopefully shed some light on the struggle I experience regularly as many African American women do; single motherhood. Here it is…

Why didn’t I include in my post, the issue of single motherhood as it pertains to the African American woman? In all honesty, it never occurred to me to include this aspect in this piece. Not because it wasn’t or isn’t important. It most definitely was and is. However, I wanted to focus on the main issue that I was dealing with as an African American woman at that time. Unfortunately for me, it was a time of hopelessness and despair, as I tried to fit in to a world where I was not wanted; the corporate world. My fitting in or not, determined whether or not my livelihood would exist or cease to. It became the primary focus of my attention. Being a single mother, I was the sole bread-winner. I put up with a lot of nonsense in order to keep food on the table.

How did I and how do I deal with all the negative push-back and resistance that I face daily as an African American woman? At the time I was dealing with the workplace situation, I continued to go to work, even though I knew I had to fight and that I was in it alone. I was not at liberty to quit, so it was a no-brainer. No work – no food, no home, etc. I was responsible for my son and myself, so I had to go on. Looking back in retrospect, I now know that I stayed in that situation much too long. Now, when faced with the in-your-face boldness of prejudice and racism, I stand firm in knowing that I have just as much right to work, to play, and to simply ‘be’, just like anyone else. I guess you could say, I’ve found my voice, and I’ve learned to use it. Maturity has provided me with a very thick skin that helps me to deflect the many bullets I often have to dodge. I never know where they’re going to come from. But instinctively, I know that they will.

Lastly, why are the attributes and defining characteristics we share collectively as African American women, not highlighted in a more positive light when they should be? I revert back to that old adage: “You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”. We as black women can only continue to be the strong, resilient, intelligent beings that we are. Others recognize our strengths and talents, but until there’s a general consensus if you will, or willingness to support and include African American women in every way, the question(s) will always remain, “why?”

By Sylvia Porter-Hall

 

When Silence Isn’t Golden…

 

How many people can go to work daily and face the kind of adversity that the African American woman often times experiences on a regular basis? Not many I predict.  As if it isn’t enough, to have to be two and three times better than her white counterparts – but to also have to prove herself, over and over again, is beyond comprehension. Then comes the ultimate slap in the face. All of her hard work was done in vain, because there really was no plan to promote her, the African American woman. There wasn’t even a vague promise of being elevated to the next level for fear that she, might take it seriously and hold ‘the powers that be’ accountable to an expectation they never had any intention of fulfilling.

What is the ‘woman of color’ to do when she finds herself bound by the tight reign of a corporate arena that neither accepts nor acknowledges her intelligence? It seems apparent that the corporate world would rather give up a third of its wealth than to share it even remotely with a woman of ethnic heritage. All this while knowing full well, that she has everything it takes to be an asset to the company, while enhancing its overall image and bottom line.

Where does this kind of disdain and resistance come from? It might be easier to solve the problems of the nation’s economy, rather than tackle the long-standing issue of differential treatment; a problem that is so prevalent in today’s workplace setting(s). The reasons for this behavior could stem anywhere from unfounded insecurities and preconceived notions to outright racism and indifference. But, no matter what the reasons are, the problem is alive and well and needs to be addressed.

How long is the ‘woman of color’ supposed to suffer in silence for fear of retaliation from those who have contributed to her present state of mind? Should she wait for change that may never come? Should she give in and grovel in hopes that a few pebbles might be thrown her way? If she stands strong as only she knows how to do, what will be the fallout of that stance? These are just a few of the things that the African American woman faces daily, in addition to all the other curve balls that life throws her way.

Thank heavens she’s a good catcher, this remarkable woman that seems to have eyes in the back of her head! How is it that she can instinctively duck without ever seeing the curve ball come her way? How is it that she can sense danger long before it reaches her front door? Why is it that she, more often than not, seems to know when something just isn’t right? It could be because, the African American woman has a built-in radar that is crucial and very necessary for her daily survival. Thankfully, these skills of ducking and dodging bullets are naturally ingrained within her, because there is always something she has to watch out for.

That is why exhaling is something the African American woman often finds so hard to do. Can she ever truly relax, when dropping her guard would only leave her wide open to being pelted relentlessly with life’s many unpleasantries? For her, this is risky business; a chance she would rather not take. So, she has to walk through life with shoulders that are strong and square; able to sustain the weight of the world while wearing a smile, dodging a bullet, and ducking a curve ball, simultaneously. What an extraordinary woman that can master all of these things while maintaining an air of class, dignity and grace.

Is it just easier to disregard the African American woman and dismiss her as expendable? Or would it be a display of humanity to just give her the respect that should come naturally and effortlessly? It is amazing what some will expend energy on, especially when it comes to negativity. You might be wondering how I know all these things? Well…I am that African American woman!

By Sylvia Porter-Hall

 

Cursively Speaking….

 

       

 

The Daily Post recently shared an article called The Lost Art, where it discussed that many people have learned to disconnect from technology’s magnetic pull to reconnect and interact person-to-person. It’s a shame that something as natural as communicating with each other verbally, has fallen under the realm of ‘lost art’. Things have more or less reversed, with non-verbal interaction becoming the rule and not the exception. Text messaging,social media, emails, etc. have all contributed to the building of this wall that now exists between people who now rely mainly on these forms of communication.

Personally, I feel these forms of interaction encourage distance between people. For instance, if you are a person who does not use the internet or use it on a regular basis, than you will surely be lost in technology’s ever-thickening sauce, if you will. Have you ever paid attention to your interaction with people whom you haven’t seen in a while? You both agree to exchange contact information, but it’s no longer phone numbers that you swap. You now exchange email addresses, website links,etc. If you don’t communicate using these technologies, your phone number may be accepted. But did the person ever follow through and call you? I’m willing to bet, probably not.

Communicating face-to-face can definitely be considered a ‘lost art’, especially when one has to disconnect just to reconnect. Readers of this article by the Daily Post were asked to comment on what they felt could fall under the umbrella of ‘lost art’. In response, I shared what I consider to be a ‘ lost art’ that is very near and dear to me; one that took a great deal of my adolescent and adult life to master. My contribution to the conversation of  ‘lost art’ is cursive writing. I commented on my disappointment in finding that this form of writing has pretty much been done away with. Where I live, children are encouraged to print as their main form of writing. The teaching of cursive writing is almost non-existent. Someone else commented and added that cursive writing is mandatory in India and is still very prevalent. I only wish I could say the same for my little corner of the world. There are many reasons why cursive writing, in my opinion, should remain a critical form of writing. For instance, what will happen later in life, when a person has to sign important documents? If a person doesn’t know how to write in cursive, how will they sign their name? Surely printing one’s name will not be an acceptable form of writing in this instance, being that it is not considered a signature. There’s a reason why it’s called a signature. It’s authentic and identifies each individual; a person’s footprint more or less.

I received several replies to my comment. I further stated that cursive writing reflects an individual’s personality as each person’s style of writing is so different; one of the things that make cursive writing a beautiful form of art. I recall when I was in 7th and 8th grade, a classmate of mine had the most beautifully artistic handwriting style. She was left-handed and turned her paper almost upside down with her wrist crooked in the most awkward position. It was amazing that she could produce such artistry with that kind of hand position, but she did. Her handwriting was truly a beautiful thing to see.

Do you remember a time when you had to practice your handwriting on a daily basis? It was most likely one of your consistent homework assignments. I think this may have contributed to the phrase, “practice makes perfect”. There was special paper that had 2 solid parallel lines that ran across the page with a single dotted line that ran between those 2 lines as seen in the picture above. I was taught to allow my lower case letters to touch the dotted line and then come back down. Uppercase letters, you would have to take the letter up to the top solid line and then come back down; you used all 3 lines for these letters. I used to enjoy that so much. How about you?

Recently, there was an issue that I needed to dispute. I was asked to write a letter outlining the situation. Being somewhat bamboozled by the technology blitz myself, I asked, without even a second thought, for an email address that I could email the letter to. I was promptly informed that I needed to send a handwritten letter to this establishment. Honestly, I was pleasantly surprised and more than happy to do so. I can’t remember when I’ve been asked to send a handwritten anything anywhere. When you think about it, anyone can compose a letter via text document and sign their name to it. The only personal touch in this case, would be the person’s signature. Handwriting  or cursive writing an entire document breathes life into the words, while allowing you to virtually feel the individual’s personality. You can sometimes tell if a person was angry when they wrote something. The strokes will be very sharp and jagged and the writing seems to scream off the pages at you. If the writing is very neat and legible, you might conclude that the person took care when they composed the correspondence. If the handwriting is fancy and artistic, it may be concluded that the person is creative and expressive and spent considerable time on their presentation in order to get their point across.

All I can say, is that cursive writing doesn’t have to be a ‘lost art’. And if you look hard enough, you will find that it’s alive and well; just waiting to be rediscovered. I enjoy writing in cursive and hope that those that decide on what the teaching curriculum will be, realize it’s value and importance. Cursively speaking… I have a feeling the same people that make these crucial decisions, use cursive writing themselves!

What do you think about this unfortunate loss of artistry?

 

Images: Free Google images

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Good Company

 

 

Have you ever come across someone you just seem to click with? You say something first, then the other person chimes in and says that they were just thinking the exact same thing. How about when you are pondering whether or not to give a friend a call and the next thing you know, your phone is ringing and who is on the other end? That friend who was so heavy on your mind. It’s like the two of you have some kind of telepathic connection. You are kindred spirits. This kind of connection doesn’t come in droves, and that’s probably a good thing. Can you imagine having a strong link like this with many? Somehow, I don’t know if the connections would be as sacred as that with that one key person who seems to understand you no matter what is going on in your life. Please correct me if I’m wrong. The uniqueness of the bond is what helps to create that special relationship where you can commit your undivided attention.You can share your deepest thoughts with the ease of knowing that your secrets are safe with this person.

 

On Sunday June 1st, I got an early start on the celebration of “me”. Yes, my birthday is quickly approaching…this Sunday June 8th to be exact. I share the exact same birth date with a mutual friend of mine and my sister. Normally, we all celebrate over dinner together almost every year. However, my sister canceled due to a conflicting schedule. I thought to myself, it sure would be nice if the party could still go on. After all, it was our birthday. I didn’t want to present the idea because I just felt it might be overstepping my bounds. You see, my sister and this person were friends first. Yet, her and I have always clicked and found that we have a lot in common and think the same way about a lot of things. Nonetheless, I opted to leave the envelope where it was and not push it.

 

A couple days after my sister canceled our gathering, I got an instant message from our friend. She wanted to know how I felt about keeping the plan to get together for a pre-birthday celebration in the name of us. I quickly accepted and was pleasantly surprised that once again, we were on the same page. We met for dinner at LongHorn’s Steak House. At first, we were a little taken aback because the place was almost empty. We wondered where everyone was. We stood out in the lobby and debated where we would go next if we did leave. Finally, we decided to stay there and give the place a chance since it was where we had already agreed to go. It certainly was beautiful inside and out and had an inviting ambiance that could not be ignored, even though the place was scarce at the moment.

 

I’m thrilled to say that the evening was a huge success. But was that any surprise? Hardly. We ate great food, we laughed, we sipped lovely berry filled Sangria wine. We brought our like-minds successfully to the table….literally. We must have sat there talking for hours, but the greatest thing was that neither of us had to rush off to be some place else. We had no curfew and had no other place to be accept right there where we were, enjoying great food, outstanding service, but most importantly, we were in good company.

 

By Sylvia Porter-Hall

 

Some Inspiration for the “Writer” in You

 

   

Images: Free Google images

 

As I surfed the channels for something interesting to watch on Thursday evening, I stumbled across a program called “Bookmark” which showcases phenomenal writers, both well known and the up and coming. One of the writers featured in this episode was Nora Roberts. If you are familiar with her, then you already know that she is quite the accomplished writer, and that’s putting it mildly.

I really enjoyed the segment on Nora Roberts. I only wish the interview would have been longer but the advice she gave was priceless. She said that she works every single day on her writing, at least 6-7 hours and was very honest in saying that it’s not always a pleasant process for her. However, she never allows these intermittent unpleasantries to take away from her passion and love for writing. An important point to remember when you run into that lull or block that keeps you from moving forward on your writing project(s). She insists that you must write every day!

Even though some of Nora Roberts words in this interview were humble, her accomplishments scream to the masses just how huge her talent really is. Ms. Roberts has written 204 books (and counting) and has sold more than 289 million copies. At one point, she was producing 5 books per year! She even has eight books that have been made into Lifetime Movies:

 

Tribute – premiered on 4/11/09

Highnoon – premiered on 4/0/09

Midnight Bayou – premiered on 3/28/09

Northern Lights – premiered on 3/21/09

Carolina Moon – premiered on 2/19/09

Blue Smoke – premiered on 2/12/07

Montana Sky – premiered on 2/05/07

Angels Fall – premiered on 1/29/07

 

You might wonder how a literary agent keeps up with the pace of a writer such as Nora Roberts who seems to produce novels with as much ease as some people hold a conversation. In spite of her agent’s failed attempts to inspire her interest in other activities, Ms. Roberts simply cannot abandon her writing, not even for a minute. According to her, she is addicted and has to write! What a lovely addiction! I can think of far worse things. Couldn’t you? It is to our advantage that she has such a love for writing and creating these fabulous stories with the most interesting and oftentimes sarcastic characters.

Fans of Ms. Roberts that were briefly interviewed for this segment, all agreed that each and every book that she produces, is completely different from the last. You don’t see a repetitive style in her writing because the stories are all fresh; like each new day that she sets about the business of creating the exciting worlds that we, the readers, are going to no doubt become completely enveloped in, as she weaves us into her tangled web(s). I would just like to know how she keeps it all straight?!

So, are you impressed, overwhelmed, or both? Well, there’s still more. Nora Roberts also writes under a pen name: J.D. Robb. She started using this pen name in the 1990’s when she developed a mystery genre series called In Death! I don’t know about you, but I am completely taken aback, and in a good way! I am so glad I accidentally came across this program. I haven’t read anything of Ms. Roberts in some years, but I now know I need to revisit her very entertaining world. So, if you take nothing from this post, please use it as a spring board to inspire you to write, each and every day, as if your life depends on it. I definitely plan on doing just that.  Maybe if we all practice this, we too can ignite the literary flame that is waiting to explode within us.

 

 

 

 

“Big Boy Pants” – One Leg at a Time

 

I thank the heavens for small favors. My one and only son has been showing some real signs of maturity lately. I’ve rubbed my eyes on several occasions to make sure I wasn’t seeing double or something but my eyes did not deceive me. Slowly but surely, he’s coming around…or so I thought.

He just purchased his first car a couple weeks ago. It’s seemed that this was a blessing in disguise. Along with the new responsibility of having a vehicle, came what appeared to be a more grown up attitude. Now some of you out there may be reading this and saying to yourself, my goodness, she sure doesn’t put her son in a very good light. I assure you, though it may sound that way, that’s not it at all. Just sharing some real life honesty with you.

Admittedly, I wish I could feel a bit more confident with his driving ability. The few times I’ve rode with him have been quite the adventure to say the least. He takes off from a standstill much too fast and his turns around corners….oh my! For some reason, he feels he needs to speed into the turn. I just don’t get it! Why do new and/or young drivers feel like they have to drive fast when they haven’t been driving very long? I would think they would feel safer going a bit slower until they are a little more experienced behind the wheel. But this isn’t the case with my son. And heaven help me if I say anything about his driving. You would think I asked him to hand over the keys! Sometimes that’s not a bad idea but anyway….I try to give constructive criticism when I see him doing something like taking off too fast or speeding into a turn and I do this amazingly without the parental panicked demeanor that I could have. Oh, and let me not forget the booming, vulgar rap music that he likes to blare from his new vehicle.

My son insisted on taking me to the store one day and as we were pulling off, he pressed a button that turned on the cd player, and the most explicit nonsense exploded through the car speakers. In this particular song, the rapper kept repeating the same obscene line….over and over again. As this racket hit my ears full force, I felt as though pure venom was being spat at me. I looked at my son like he had at least 2 heads, because I don’t know which one was in charge, but he needed to turn that darn crap off! He had the nerve to be mad that I looked upset! Seriously?! I vowed right then and there that I would rarely ride with him in the future if this is what it was going to be like! Then I had to hear about how it’s his car and this is the music that he listens to. Okay…that’s fine. I’m well aware that it’s his car. After all, I was with him when he purchased it. But where’s the maturity to realize that he could play this music any time being that it is rare that I am riding with him? I just grinned and beared it for the rest of the ride and I’m sure anyone that saw us that day, also saw the steam coming from me and pouring out through his car windows along with that horrible music!

It’s like someone lifted a veil from eyes one day and everything is crystal clear now. You see, I have been my son’s source for everything in his life…for all of his life – from day one. In the process of being there for him, I’m sure I’ve hindered him in many ways and with that comes regret. I can clearly see how dependent he still is on me.  Sometimes I am in awe about the things that he asks me or the way he views things. I am floored sometimes by his behavior when things don’t go his way. It’s like rewinding back at a high speed to when he was 4 or 5 years old. This may sound mean but it’s the simple truth. I’m down right scared for him at times because he feels he has a good handle on life but he really has no idea.

A lot of his naivete can be blamed on the fact that he still resides with me and has not experienced life on his own yet. (See recent post – Failure to Launch) I feel like the longer he lives with me, the more stifled his growth becomes. We’ve been together like two peas in a pod since the beginning of his life. He now has a hard time picturing me living all alone in a big house without him. Sometimes I want to scream, PICTURE THIS…I want my peace,quiet and solitude! Little does he know, life will go on for me, even when he moves out. I just hope and pray that he wakes up soon and puts his big boy pants on…even if it’s one leg at a time! Just put them on already!

 

Delivery is everything!

 

 

 

 

I’ve attended many church sermons in my life, some thoroughly relevant, while others have sometimes been somewhat mundane and more or less lost me in the message. But I am happy to say that today, I attended church where the assistant pastor gave the sermon in the head pastor’s absence. Let’s just say that I couldn’t be happier that I chose today to attend.

The assistant pastor spoke of the importance of a man showing honor to his wife. He made note of 1Peter 3:7, where the bible says that a husband should dwell with his wife. He supported the scripture by stating  that not a day should go by where a husband neglects to remind his wife of how beautiful,special, and loved she is.  He went on to reinforce that a man that finds a wife, finds a good thing and that a wife is a man’s prize and/or gift from God. The man’s role is as a protector and a provider for his wife. As I sat there taking in his message, I realized how much what was being said resonated with me and to many others in attendance as they confirmed their agreement in audible shouts of uplifting acknowledgement. Now, as I said earlier, I’ve heard many sermons, and this pastor didn’t have any particular style that stood out. But what did hit home was in the way he delivered his message.

This pastor delivered today’s sermon with a grin, one that was almost out of place, but the message itself and his ability to weave himself throughout the fabric of the content, made it a standout sermon in my mind. I was even led to jot down a few notes while he spoke. It was the kind of message that should have been recorded and played back to the masses so that it could help someone later on down the road. There’s no doubt in my mind that it would indeed strike a chord in someone’s spirit, some where.

I was so moved that I had to approach this pastor after service ended and commend him on his powerful message. Surprisingly, he responded with the same laid back, casual demeanor and grin he always has; almost as if he hadn’t delivered a message at all. I guess that’s just the way he is; a humble spirit. Evidently, it works well for him. I’m not sure if he truly realizes how important the words he spoke meant to not only me as a woman, but the rest of the congregation in attendance. This was a message that needed to be said, but more importantly, it needed to be heard.

On Sunday mornings, I try to start my day by listening to Pastor Joel Osteen at 9:00 am. Interestingly, he delivered a similar message this morning but provided a kind of flip side to the pastor’s message I later heard at church today. Pastor Osteen expressed the importance of a wife finding one thing that she could praise her husband for and practice finding something positive daily and he referred to this as pouring honor into your husband and marriage. Pastor Osteen said that the wife is in control of what he termed the honor faucet. In other words, the more she, the wife, turns this faucet on with her positive words of encouragement, the more honor will flow throughout the marriage. Pastor Osteen believes that doing this regularly will bring about amazing results.

Needless to say, when I heard the pastor begin to deliver his sermon in church, I immediately recognized the parallel to Pastor Olsteen’s earlier message. It was truly an aha moment for meBut I can’t help but wonder, had I not heard Pastor Osteen’s message first this morning, would the pastor’s sermon I heard at church have moved me as much? I think it would have regardless because a big part of what made it work was in the delivery. After all, delivery is everything!

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries

September 2019
M T W T F S S
« Jun    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,891 other followers

Follow sporterhall on WordPress.com
sporterhall

Calling all conversations!! What say you?

bornofGod

Sharing my walk with Jesus Christ & helping encourage other Believers!

ultimatemindsettoday

A great WordPress.com site

Ana Spoke, author

It's time to get hella serious about writing!

peculiarpetunia

a journey to becoming different

Gringa of the Barrio

A Sassy Barrio Gringa Telling It Like It Is

Lisa W. Tetting

Author, Blogger, Poet and Freelance Writer

Alligator Juniper

A literary magazine from the high desert of Arizona

The Main Focus

Embracing Life Today In A Creative Way

Echo Chamberz

A Spoken Word Exhibition and Celebration of Lyricism

mermaidcamp

Keeping current in wellness, in and out of the water

Nathan B. Poetry

poetry by latino poet Nathan Bonilla

SongSmith

#1 source for songwriting news and development.

MidiMike

A Life's Worth of Observations from a Songwriter and Sound Engineer

Nikki Skies

I am a lover of perseverance. I am folklore. I am consistency and contradiction.

%d bloggers like this: